AN OCEAN OF ANNOUNCERLY THANKFULNESSES

This year The Consortium is hosting it's 5th Annual Art Show: FLUX at the Apollo Grill located in the Eastworks Building in Easthampton, MA. The exhibit consists
of an array of fine art by The Consortium's 2007 Career Initiatives artists and an opening reception with refreshments, music, and poetry.

FLUX at the Apollo Grill is being curated by noted local artist Janice Sorensen. Participating artists include Virginia Harlow, Janice Sorensen, Larry Ditman, and Molly Rupp.

Performers include local singing legend Robin Lane and poet Chaya Grossberg.

The Consortium is excited to bring our show to the Apollo Grill in Eastworks. Eastworks is a beautifully renovated mill building with a growing community of businesses, artisans, other professionals and residents.

All fine art is for sale.

For directions to the exhibit please click here.

http://www.wmtcinfo.org/art.shtml

http://www.wmtcinfo.org/career_initiatives.shtml

THE JOE BELMONT GROUP
June 3, 7-9 PM. Featuring the stylings of Wes Montgomery

CONCERT: THE JOE BELMONT GROUP

Featuring the stylings of Wes Montgomery

06/03/07

Time: 7-9 pm

On Sunday, June 3 at 7 pm, The Joe Belmont Group will perform in a private lounge at Zoe's Fish & Chop House in Easthampton to benefit the Northampton Community Music Center (NCMC).

Composed of five area-renowned jazz musicians, The Joe Belmont Group is steeped in the tradition of the jazz greats. Led by guitarist Joe Belmont, the group includes Claire Arenius on drums, Paul Arslanian on piano, Bruce Diehl on saxophone, and Dave Shapiro on bass. Each of the members has extensive experience playing with jazz greats across the country and around the world. Recently, they have come together to focus on the music and style of the legendary guitarist Wes Montgomery.

Those who have dinner that evening at Zoe's and mention NCMC will have a portion of their table's bill donated to the Music Center. Reservations required. To reserve your seat at the concert, please call NCMC at (413) 585-0001. Entrance is $15 per person. A cash bar will be available.

WORKSHOP & MASTER CLASS WITH THE JOE BELMONT GROUP
June 6, 2007. In the style of Wes Montgomery

WORKSHOP & MASTER CLASS WITH THE JOE BELMONT GROUP

In the style of Wes Montgomery

6/3/07

Time: 11:30 am - 4:30 pm, 7-9 pm

The Joe Belmont Group will lead a master class showcasing the stylings of legendary jazz musician Wes Montgomery at the Northampton Community Music Center. The class will begin at 11:30 and run until 4:30 pm, followed by a concert in a private lounge at Zoe s Fish & Chop House in Easthampton.

The master class will begin with a workshop led by guitarist Joe Belmont, which will explore the history of the Wes Montgomery style, as well as a biography of the legendary artist. Throughout the afternoon, members of the Joe Belmont Group will work with participants in a group setting, as well as by instrument. Registration is required for both the master class and evening concert; please contact the Music Center.

AFTER-HOURS AT CUP AND TOP CAFE!
THE ART SALON

AFTER-HOURS AT CUP AND TOP CAFE!

Title: THE ART SALON

Start Date: Ongoing

End Date: Summer schedule TBA

Time: Sundays 5:30pm & Tuesdays 7:00pm

Description: For Beginners, Non-Artists, and Pros alike!

Hosted and Facilitated by Northampton artist Dana Wilde.

Creative drawing and writing exercises help you access your creativity, express yourself, and generate some ART in a fun, exploratory environment. Great for folks who feel creatively-challenged, and for artists who want to get unstuck, come out of isolation, or try on a whole new art-form!

90 minutes. $12. Materials provided. WWW.DANAWILDEART.COM

Please arrive 10-15 minutes early to sign-in, get refreshments, and settle in. We start on time.

ART EXCHANGE: WORKS FROM LYN HORAN AND HER STUDENTS

Artists Reception Sat. May 5, 4-7PM

ART EXCHANGE: WORKS FROM LYN HORAN AND HER STUDENTS

05/05/2007 - 06/01/2007

Artists Reception Sat. May 5, 4-7PM

Art Exchange: The Artist as Teacher and Student.

Internationally exhibited artist, Lyn Horan showcases her latest work along with work from her adult students in an attempt to examine the creative relationship between the artist/teacher and her students.

"The art of teaching is part of assisting discovery." This quote from Pulitzer Prize winning Poet, Mark Van Doren, sums up Artist Lyn Horan's teaching philosophy. While Horan feels that teaching pictorial skills, use of materials, and knowledge of art history is important, helping her students find the courage to hone their observations and individual self-expression is a greater part of the equation. "My job as a teacher is not to create artists who paint just like me, but to help them discover how to best create something that is genuine to them."

With works from Lisa Colt, Helen Daniels, Terry Faivre, Marilyn Marquez, Joanne O'Leary, Keri Oleson, Maryann Phoenix, Marge Tauer, and of course LYN HORAN

FORAGING FOR BEAUTY: RECENT PHOTOGRAPHY AND SCANOGRAPHY BY MARTY KLEIN AT KW HOME

Recent photographic and Scanographic Images by Marty Klein

05/12/07 - 06/02/07

Opening reception for a show of mostly nature-related images produced over the past 8 months by Easthampton artist Marty Klein. The majority of the works were created using a flatbed scanner as the 'camera' to produce images of primarily locally gathered plant materials (oh, and 1 fish).

The "look" is achieved via the 'digital darkroom', but my goal is to retain/represent the essences of what I see.

Image: Birch Catkins w.jpg

82 1/2 Cottage Street * Easthampton, MA 01027
p: 413.527.5936 f: 413.527.3682 e: info@kwhome.net

MOHAWK HUDSON REGIONAL JURIED EXHIBITION

05/24/07 - 09/30/07

Mohawk Hudson Regional Juried Exhibition

05/24/07 - 09/30/07

Time: Opening May 24th, 5:00 to 8:00 pm

Peter Dellert has the above pictured piece in this years Mohawk Hudson Regional.

Presented by the Albany International Airport Art and Culture Program at the Albany International Airport Gallery. Founded in 1936, "the Artists of the Mohawk-Hudon Region" is among the longest running regional exhibitions in the country. It is open to artists living within a 100 mile radius of Albany, New York.

This year's juror is Leah Douglas, the founding Director and Curator of the Philadelphia International Airport's Exhibition Program. Cash and gift awards will be presented and a catalog with an essay by the juror will be published and available at the opening. For directions go to www.albanyairport.com.

Image: Hippurites

Illy coffee containers needed!

Illy coffee containers needed!

Art business in need of a supply of illy containers as bases for one of their robot clocks.

If you use illy coffee- regular, decaf or espresso or know an office or business who does, please contact Susan Boss or Mark Brown at bossbrown@bossbrownart.com or call 413-527-9675.

We will make arrangements to collect or pay shipping for the source. THANKS, and don't forget to recycle.

SPECIAL FRIENDS OF THE NEWSLETTER

JEAN-PIERRE PASCHE
ANILA ZAIDI
DENISE RIGGS
BRUCE BARONE
MARK BROWN/SUSAN BOSS
LIZ CHALFIN/ZEA MAYS PRINTMAKING
MARIE SHANAHAN
TERRY ROONEY
CHRISTIN COUTURE AND BILL HOSIE
SARAH PEBWORTH
DEBIN BRUCE
SUSAN BERGERON-WEST
CHARLES STERN
JANET FRAIDSTERN
MAUREEN DENNING AND CHARLES ENOS
LARRY SLEZAK
TERRY ROONEY
ANNE BURTON
DEAN NIMMER
BILL MYERS
KATHLEEN TRESTKA
ANITA HUNT
KATHY SERVICE & TIM DECHRISTOPHER
DAVID SMITH
JEFF MACK
LYNN PETERFREUND
BRADLEY FOX
KAREN AXELROD
AACO (AMERICAN ARTS COLLECTIVE ORGANIZATION), In memory of our artists friends who were victims of AIDS and in honor of Aids Awareness Day, December 1st
KELSEY FLYNN
LYN HORAN
HILARY PRICE & KERRY LABOUNTY
BRONWEN HODGKINSON
BRIANA TAYLOR
DORIS MADSEN
BETSY DAWN WILLIAMS
THE
JOAN AXELROD-CONTRADA
MAUREEN DENNING AND CHARLES (Donation made to Humane Society in Jamoka's name)
DARYL LAFLEUR
WEDNESDAY NELENA SOROKIN
LINDA BATCHELOR

CALLS FOR ARTISTS AND OPPORTUNITIES

CALL FOR ARTISTS -- GALLERY A3 IS SEEKING NEW MEMBERS

Description: Gallery A3 shows contemporary art by Valley artists. Since it opened in 2002, the gallery s been an alternative venue for innovative art in a wide range of media and styles. Gallery A3 is a cooperative run by its artists. Members share business and aesthetic decisions and form a supportive community for making and exhibiting art. The gallery has an exhibition space in the new Amherst Cinema building and holds its opening receptions in conjunction with the Amherst Art Walk.

Artists working in all media are invited to apply. Spring deadline dates are April 5 and May 9. Applications are available at Gallery A3, 28 Amity Street, Amherst, MA. The gallery is open Wednesday through Sunday from 1-7:00 pm. Phone 413-256-4250. For more information please call the gallery or email mtc@crocker.com.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sep 01, 2007 INTERNATIONAL ARTISTS RESIDENCY PROGRAM
Seeking visual artists, writers, and composers for 2-, 4-, 6-, and 8-wk-long residencies, Jan 1 - Jun 15, 2008. Free housing and studio space and a $100/wk stipend. For application and complete guidelines please contact: Kimmel Harding Nelson Center for the Arts, 801 3rd Corso, Nebraska City NE 68410 OR 402-874-9600 OR http://www.KHNCenterfortheArts.org OR info@KHNCenterfortheArts.org
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ongoing
SUBMIT ONLINE FOR ART WALK EASTHAMPTON
Art Walk Easthampton, a monthly, self-guided walking tour of arts and culture, has added a proposal page to its website where visual, music and performance artists can outline what they would like to show or perform if given the opportunity.

All the locations that participate in Art Walk Easthampton can view the submissions for possible inclusion in an upcoming event. The talent describes the work, provides images, identifies the types of venues they would like to be in, the dates they are available and provides contact information. If there's a match between the submission and the venue's interest, the venue contacts the talent directly to handle booking arrangements.
The proposal form is available at www.ArtWalkEasthampton.org and is open to all local and regional artists.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ONGOING
An offer from Joe Blumenthal of Downtown Sounds who generously would like to have artists display their work there. (Downtown Sounds, 21 Pleasant St., Northampton, next to the Pleasant St. Theater)

The window is quite large, and has three panels, each one about 6' X 6', and is about 24" deep. It is exposed to intense sunlight in the morning; the heat of the sun plus the narrowness of the window make it inappropriate to display most musical instruments.

However, the sunlight doesn't hurt most artwork since it's only exposed for a month to six weeks. I normally pay $150 to the artist who installs the window, and work out a consignment agreement for the store to take a percentage of the price if the art is for sale and we manage to sell some of it.

The artwork can be freestanding, lean against a wall at the back of the window that's about three feet high, or (if it's not heavy) be hung from the ceiling.
It's great when the art can have a musical theme, but it's not necessary. Because of its highly visible commercial location, the work should have a mainstream appeal and not have themes which could be offensive. Small pieces don't work well since the window is so large.

If one of your readers is interested in displaying in this context, please have them contact me via email: musician@downtownsounds.com, or via phone at 413- 586-0998.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ONGOING.
New York City Department of Cultural Affairs + Image Registry The New York City Department of Cultural Affairs (DCLA) is the largest public funder of arts and culture in the country. The Percent for Art artist slide registry is an up-to-date and important component of the Program. The registry is consulted by the architects, panelists, and City agencies for each project. The Percent for Art staff prepares a slide presentation from the registry for each panel meeting. The registry is open to any professional visual artist residing in the United States. Deadline: On-going Information: www.nyc.gov/html/dcla/html/panyc/ slide_reg.shtml

RESOURCES FOR ARTISTS
PLEASE NOTIFY ME WHEN YOUR SPACE HAS BEEN RENTED OR YOUR LISTING EXPIRES. THANKS-MO

THE BOLTWOOD MARKETPLACE IS AMHERST'S NEWEST OUTDOOR MIXED MARKET! ARISTS, CARFTS PEOPLE AND FARMERS: WE HAVE A MARKET FOR ALL OF YOU!

04/28/07 - 10/27/07

9:00am-1:00pm every Sat.

There's a new mixed Marketplace in Amherst!

We are looking for Artists, Crafts People and Farmers to join our market.

The Boltwood Marketplace is located behind Bueno Y Sano and Newbury Comics adjacent to the new Amherst parking garage. We opened last year and hope to have a 2nd successful year. The Boltwood Marketplace is opening on April 28th and will be open every Saturday through October from 9:00 am to 1:00pm.

If you are interested in participating in the Boltwood Marketplace we are now accepting applications. Please help us spread the word abut our market and support our local community.

Please call Kathryn for details: (413) 253-7879

info@amherstlincolnrealty.com
___________________________________________________________________

STUDIO FOR RENT

Bridge Street, Shelburne Falls

GREAT LIGHT!

5 LARGE WINDOWS!

WEST & SOUTH EXPOSURE

555 Sq Ft Approx 21' x 27'

High Speed Internet connection available!

Includes heat and electric!

Rent-$500/month

413-625-6177

schaktman@comcast.net

___________________________________________________________________

STUDIO SPACE IN PITTSFIELD
Start Date: late July

Description: The Storefront Artist Project in Pittsfield, MA will have studio spaces for
rent starting in late July.
Cost: spaces start at $150 for at least 300 sq. ft.
Includes heat and a/c, not electrical.
Second floor, great light, high ceilings.
413-442-7201

www.storefrontartist.org
STUDIO SPACE AVAILABLE ASAP

End Date: negotiable

Time: ASAP
___________________________________________________________________

LIVE/WORK LOFT SPACE TO SHARE

Title: Looking for Roommate

Start Date: 6-1-07

End Date: 0000

Time: 0000

Description: Artist looking for artist to share GIANT live work space in holyoke MA. $450 + utils.

Plenty of space, cool cat, relaxed roommate, washer+dryer.

___________________________________________________________________

STUDIO SPACE AVAILABLE NOW IN EASTHAMPTON - The Blue Guitar Gallery in Easthampton is a shared workspace and gallery. It is 410 sq. ft. on the inside, and there's also a small space 120 sq. ft., carpeted available. $200 month includes utilities and the right to a private or shared show twice a year. There's also a nice hall and reception area for hanging work. Since I need to keep the walls clean for showing, I'm looking for artists who work on easels or tables, not too messy. It's on the ground floor, at 186 D Northampton Street (Rte. 10), just over the line from Northampton. It's opposite the post office. The grand opening will be March 10, during Art Walk Easthampton!

Contact Christie Svane at csvane@comcast.net, 413-247-9454, www.theblueguitar.org

___________________________________________________________________

"A.R.T.S. Anonymous is a 12 step recovery group for artists of all kinds and at all levels. We meet every Monday from 6:30 to 8pm in Room 230 at Wright Hall on the Smith College campus. No dues or fees. For more information call 413.527.5215 or visit their website, http://artsanonymous.org/."

___________________________________________________________________

Valley Entrepreneurs! Our service area just expanded! Valley CDC can help you:

Explore your business ideas, Market your art, products & services, Identify new markets, Get more customers, Write your business plan, Explore financial viability, Improve business operations, Seek financing, and more.
Free Business Counseling ?! Starting a business? Need more business? Let us help! It's what we do.
Now serving ALL Amherst, Hadley, Northampton & Easthampton businesses with 20 employees or less. No income restrictions. We deliver more. Call for a confidential appointment today! 413 529-0420, ValleyCDC.com
Funded by MA Commonwealth's Dept. of Business and Technology-SBTA Grant, the City of Easthampton through the MA Community Development Block Grant -Ready Resource, the City of Northampton-CDBG Program, and Florence Savings Bank.
___________________________________________________________________

FREE CREDIT COUNSELING FOR LOCAL ENTREPRENEURS

Valley CDC Expands Business Services to Include Credit Counseling

Northampton, MA, March 23, 2007: Valley Community Development Corporation (Valley CDC), a community-based non-profit organization, is now offering personal credit counseling. This free one-on-one counseling is available to people who want to open a small business in Valley CDC's service area - Easthampton, Northampton, Hadley & Amherst. Current small business owners with 20 or fewer employees are also eligible. There are no income restrictions. This free credit counseling is available through June of 2007 via a grant from the Massachusetts Office of Business and Technology.

According to David Plaut, Small Business Credit Counselor for Valley CDC, "We know that credit scores play a very significant role when applying for a business loan. We want our clients to secure financing, so we set them up for success. Credit reports and credit scoring can be confusing. We can decipher that information and help people boost their scores."

Valley CDC has been helping entrepreneurs start new enterprises and expand existing small businesses for more than 18 years. Since 2003, Valley CDC has counseled more than 250 individuals and businesses, and helped them acquire more than $470,000 in funding from conventional banks and community loan funds. Valley CDC's clients include companies in many diverse businesses, including restaurants, manufacturers, beauty salons, spas, artists and artisans, clothing designers, and retailers.

According to Joanne Campbell, Executive Director of Valley CDC, "We are very excited to be able to expand our small business technical services to include credit counseling. Our current grant will fund this service until June 30, 2007, so we hope that local entrepreneurs act on this opportunity quickly. We are also hopeful that the legislature will recognize the economic benefits that all Massachusetts communities gain from their investment in local entrepreneurs and small businesses, and continue to fund the program beyond that date."

For more information about credit counseling, please contact David Plaut, Small Business Credit Counselor at 413-586-5855 x16 or dp@valleycdc.com.

LINKS TO PEOPLE AND STUFF
THIS SECTION OFFICIALLY UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I very recently switched to this new template. It did not convert my old template and tech help at Constant Contact confirmed that I need to move all my information over myself. Most of it, like text data, can be cut and pasted. But the links, which originated from an entry into a constant contact template, are assigned trackback URLs which allow for comparative metrics and this causes crazy things to happen. So I am starting this section over, as I already did with the rest of the newsletter, to fit into the new template. When I paste links in one at a time the link name appears as the URL plus the trackback data like this:

http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=nhefh6bab.0.xhxbgzbab.jrfsprbab.1&ts=S0232&p=http
%3A%2F%2Fwww.polturgeon.com

And when I try to paste the whole list at once it deletes all the URL data and becomes a list of links to nothing, sort of like an excremental link. So, I am going through an old URL list and clicking on each link and then copying the link name and target into this space. So It will be under construction for a bit.

Just look at what this template has doen to my font sizes all over this newsletter. They are all over the place and out of control. And I know what I am doing but this template has other ideas. Maybe by next week I will be once again master of the formatting of this newsletter but for now, I throw up my hands and have a call in to tech help.

Daryl-Ann Saunders, Fine-Art Photography
www.eastmontgallery.net
Stone Soup Concrete
Walter Buckingham
Paul Shoul
Marie Shanhan/The Birchtree Center
NOKILLING
Briana Taylor
Jon Whintey
Terry Rooney
Daryl LaFleur, Public Policy in Northampton
Daryl LaFleur's Northampton Redoubt blog
Annie Bissett
www.suzeco.com

Clay Jazz - Sophisticated jazz with a Latin twist

Dana Wilde Arts
The Artisan Gallery
christin couture/william hosie
Terry Rooney
Daryl Lafleur
Dianna Stallone Designs
Lynn Peterfreund
cdeVision
Maureen Scanlon's Peace Ribbon Project
Photography by Jon Whitney
The Canal Gallery Building
The Northampton center for the Arts
The Art of Dean Nimmer
Kathleen Trestka
Zea Mays Printmaking Studio
Smart Moves Pilates
Singer/Songwriter Diane Falcone
Rhymes With Orange
EJ Barnes- Cartoons, mandalas, and animation
Local.Masslive!
The O-Tones
The Florence Poets Society
Lillianna Pereira
Linda Batchelor
Betsy Dawn Williams
Tim De Christopher
Frank Ward
Noarthampton Arts Council
Lisa Leary
Gineen

SELL YOUR ART ON EBAY

cyberdeal@aol.com

Description: HAVE LOTS OF ART/CRAFTS OR GOOD "STUFF" JUST HANGING AROUND TAKING UP SPACE? MAYBE YOU CAN HAVE A WIDER AUDIENCE BY SELLING IT ON THE INTERNET. I HAVE MANY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE AND HAVE SOLD EVERYTHING FROM DEER ANTLERS TO FINE GLASS, JEWELRY TO TOY CARS AND COMIC BOOKS.

CONTACT cyberdeal@aol.com

TO MAKE A DONATION OR SPONSOR THE NEWSLETTER

Unfortunately due to stuff I can't comprehend, the PayPal button has to say, "Buy Now", rather than "donate". I want it to say "Hello Sweetheart!"
Anyway--thanks for your support!

If this button does not work you may have to try another browser. sigh.

Show Postcards and the like can be mailed to:

I think a lot of people still have my old arts & industry address as postcards get forwarded to me but I think that may expire soon.

THIS NEWSLETTER IS BROUGHT TO YOU IN PART BY THE ART ANGELS

USD

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

The form is screwed up and keeps giving me errors messages. I am so sick of trying and getting error messages. Can I make my submission via email?

It must have singled you out. Maybe you have sinned. See God.

The form does work. It works for 98% of the people who use it weekly to submit properly sized images. I test it regularly in Firefox, Internet Explorer and Opera. Try using one of these browsers. In every single case where I gave in and accepted an email submission the image attached was WELL over 100k. The last few were 11 mgs, 22 mgs and 25 mgs respectively. I can upload no more than 40k per image to constant contact so I am willing to do some work on each image but not that much. 100k is the absolute maximum size I will accept.

I don't know how to resize my image. Will you do it for me?

I am busy. See Satan.

In between yachting and vacationing, I spend some time learning to use photoshop etc. At the bottom of the submission form, there are links to sites that will resize your images for FREE. Take a few minutes to explore those options.

Where is my image?

Up my nose. With my mansion.

If it is not there it was either so large as to be rejected by my server or it wasn't properly attached. You get a receipt for your submission. If an image made it through, it will be listed as such at the bottom of your receipt. If I don't get an image with a submission I simply add the text.

My event has a typo. Why wasn't this fixed?

Someone shoot me please.

I cut and paste the text I receive. I don't proof it. It is the responsibility of the submitting person to edit their own text.

You didn't include the address of my event. What's up with that?

Before I answer this, let me take another puff on my crack pipe...

You didn't include it in your submission. I don't proof. The form prompts you to include where and when your event is. Use it as your guide. I cut and paste exactly what you submit.

Look, I am REALLY busy with my upcoming show and don't have time to mess with your ****ing form. Can't you just take an email submission and do it for me? It will only take you a few minutes.

Sometimes in a relationship both parties need to spend some time making it work.

It will only take *you* a few minutes too. I also have a show coming up. I understand busy. I don't do this newsletter to fill a void in my life or to find something to do. Call me at midnight one of these nights when I am finishing up the day's work. I will walk you through the steps to figure out to change the size of an image.

I sent a submission at least 3 hours before you sent out the newsletter Monday afternoon. Why isn't it in? Please make an addendum for me. My event is this week so it HAS to go out THIS WEEK.

WTF?

Submissions are due Sunday by 5PM. Plan ahead a bit. I reserve the right to work on my newsletter Sunday evening if I have a pressing deadline for one of my paying jobs on Monday morning or a medical treatment scheduled. This deadline is clearly stated at the top of every newsletter. I only ask for it to be in by the night before. This is not a crazy deadline. It allows for a small lead time for me. Why does this not seem fair?

My firewall won't let me use your form so please use my email submission.

My emotional firewall clearly needs some tighter controls.

I battle spam and viruses with worms, viruses and trojans attached every day. Simply by doing this newsletter and having my email address out there opens me up to so many malicious emails. I empathize. Doing the newsletter means letting down my own firewall. I can't accommodate yours.

I need to see a proof of my submission to make sure I got everything right before you send the newsletter out. Please send it to this address.

Did you really mean to hit the send button on this email?

I don't do proofs. Check your work first and be sure you have gotten everything right.

This goes with my previous submission, I forgot to put the times.
Oops, add this too, I forgot the address. Thanks.

Oops, I forgot to go to my last therapy appointment. I feel... scared.

I can't compile articles from multiple submissions. Please check your work. This is your part of the bargain.

Will you break your no addendum rule?

When I was little I had a pet hamster. He ran circles endlessly. I used to think he must be crazy.

Maybe for a pile of cash, up front.

I only have slides. It's not fair that you only accept digital images. Can I mail it to you?

Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 days. Is that not enough?

Constant Contact only accepts digital images and so do I. I don't have a slide scanner. I don't even have a scanner. This is a digital newsletter and so all content must be digital. It is fair.

You didn't need to size my image for me, but thanks!

Then why did you attach it?

An attached yet gigantic image is a gigantic tug on my conscience. Even when I say I am not going to resize it, I feel compelled to. For this week anyway. Next week I am going to learn to stick to my own guidelines. Everyone is capable of learning to use a simple image program to fix their own images.

Mo, are you actually sobbing?

No, I am singing old show tunes.

I have nothing more to give. I was sad because I had no food and then I met a man who had no feet.